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michelle helped me strip the black color from my hair. now it's really close to my natural color (with the exception of the darker spots where i didn't get enough of the stripper in my hair and the really really light spots where apparently the sun has given me natural highlights). it actually looks ok. now i just have to grow it out. i dont know how to keep from cutting it though!! i hate the in between stages.

i went to the gym again today, with michelle and melissa this time. michelle started sweatin first, then melissa. i was wearing sweat pants, a tshirt, and a hoodie, and had my towel wrapped around my neck and STILL couldn't break a sweat. i burned about three hundred calories though. and that's like the fourth day i've done that. that's still not even a fourth of the calories i probably take in a day, but i still feel better just being there. like im actually trying.

my tans starting to fade though, so i need to go and work on that. i lose it so easily! and it sucks. or maybe it's not so much that im losing the tan as it's not red anymore and i feel like it's lighter. i dont know. either way, i want to be darker.

michelle and i talked about scott, she's really upset about something he did to her, and she doesn't know how she should react when he gets home from being underway. and i dont know what to tell her. but i told her if i ever find out he's hurting her emotionally or physically i'll have to do time. cause that's my friend. and you just don't do that to people i care about.

i told brandi nicole i'd take her to get an id tomorrow, so she can get a job. the only thing i can do is try to help her in the right direction... she has to get someplace in life on her own accord. and she won't do that until she's tired of fucking up.

when bryan called me today he got mad because matt was at the house...or that matt was talking to me while i was on the phone. i can understand him being upset cause he has to hunt down and use someone else's phone to call me. and i should devote all of my attention to him when he calls because i don't get to see him. but he talks to other people too while im on the other phone..and sometimes we're not even really saying anything to each other. we're just sitting there listening to each other breathe. anytime he calls i dont want him to go, because it's always too short. i don't know...i guess im just a difficult person.

last five
take that turn a little sharper next time - Monday, Nov. 21, 2005
the truth - Sunday, Oct. 23, 2005
the floodgates are open - Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2005
what a mess - Saturday, Oct. 15, 2005
shitty beginnings - Saturday, Sept. 17, 2005