had two mikes hard lemonades (well one was a limeade and one was a cranberry)

had two glasses of vodka and orange juice

had a glass of rum n coke.

had two shots of rum.

it doesn't take much to get me drunk.

talked to nic last night, i was too fucked up though. we talked about sex. and how about for the month of march i wont get to see him because he'll be in north carolina. because he'll be homeless. the navy is kicking him out of bachelors quarters because they are over-crowded. grr. so i won't see him all next month and then in june he leaves "forever."

he had called just to say hi... which kind of surprised me. but while we were talking he had a cop behind him....so he got off the phone.

but he called me back at like 230am.....when i was sleeping. michelle comes running into my room....'brandi...phone'

nic was like your bonin' her aren't you? i was like wtf are you talking about??

"she's laying right next to you, you're sleeping with her"

".........who, im so confused."

"oh my god! hahaha michelle, you're boning michelle, you ate her out didn't you"

and i said something to the effect of you "guess you'll never know"

which of course got a groan and a sigh out of him....he wants to see that so damned bad.

and then i asked him a serious question

"you said you would have married your last girlfriend..."

"yea"

"what makes her so different from me"

he got quiet for a while...and i knew he was still on the line... i waited a good minute.

"actually you're a lot like her, you remind me of her. but that's not why i love you, i love you for you. you're beautiful."

he's lucky i was drunk, because i could pick that statement apart sooooooooo much.

but i'll leave it at that, because i have no choice, because i want to believe him.

all-in-all.....a good night....woulda been better had sex been involved. i'm gonna have to learn how to masturbate....ill just put that on my to-do list.......right next to clean the toilet.

last five
take that turn a little sharper next time - Monday, Nov. 21, 2005
the truth - Sunday, Oct. 23, 2005
the floodgates are open - Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2005
what a mess - Saturday, Oct. 15, 2005
shitty beginnings - Saturday, Sept. 17, 2005